Updated: Feb 22
Graciousness - a compassionate approach to resolving one's challenges
This is probably going to be one of the hardest, if not the hardest practice I will ever ask of you.
Be gracious. Always. Especially when you don't want to or when you don't feel like it.
Trust me, there won't ever be a more meaningful habit.
Be gracious in all your interactions, whether you think you are right, whether you think you've been done wrong, whether you feel injustice, whether you feel that things aren't fair.
As a matter of fact, what if you think you're right?
So what if you feel you've been hard done?
So what if you feel that there's been an injustice?
So what if you think something isn't fair?
Nobody really cares.
Well, other than me of course, which is why I strongly recommend you be gracious. ALWAYS.
Truth is, everything we experience is a matter of perspective and so whether you feel strongly about any given situation, there's always a second side to every story.
Monitor how you react to the things going on around you and make a conscious decision to control your emotions. Be the bigger person, whether you feel like it or not.
That is what being gracious is all about.
Understand what you are facing.
Notice your emotions and tendency to react.
Let it go.
4 simple steps.
I know you're probably thinking to yourself that what I am asking of you is absurd, and in fact, unfair, but guess what, nobody said life would be fair. Not to mention that if you keep reacting and overreacting, life is less likely to get any fairer for you.
So do the right thing and always protect your self-respect.
Protect the one thing which will always be more important than anything else.
Still not convinced? Well, let me ask you the following question.
What's the point of reacting and overreacting in order to 'prove' yourself?
Other than making your ego feel good of course?
Exactly. There is no point. So don't do it.
Bottom line is that if you work on being the best version of yourself, and if you practice being gracious, the 'justice' you so desperately seek will come your way without you having to do anything for it. Trust me, and if you don't, trust the Universe. It knows what it is doing.
Do not burn bridges, do not allow resentment to build, and do not feel anger or hatred, just for the sake of pleasing your ego.
Let it go.
I simply cannot list the number of times this strategy has worked wonders for me (well I could, but the list would be too long, so I won't), and the great thing is that by being gracious you're definitely going to accumulate some positive karma as well. Win-Win.
Having said all of the above, there will be times when it's worth a 'fight'.
That's up to you to decide. Just make sure you pick your battles consciously.
1. Commit to being gracious, no matter how unfair you feel any given situation is
2. Understand that everybody has their own perspective, so there is no right or wrong
3. Ask yourself whether you are protecting your self-respect in your daily interactions
4. Focus your attention on the human tendency to react (and overreact)