Updated: Jan 28, 2021
Resilience - the ability to remain unfazed by external factors circumstances
Resilience is a word we hear often. It's considered a key development area for most people, whether in a personal or professional context.
What does resilience mean to you though?
The ability to maintain faith even when things may not be going the way you'd like them to?
The ability to remain centred in times of uncertainty or during challenging situations?
The ability to bounce back from defeat or failure?
The capacity to have conviction day in and day out?
In truth, probably all of the above. But where does that ability and capacity stem from?
I believe that it's very much dependent on how we perceive ourselves.
Well, if we are introspective enough and attuned to our life's values, most external developments should not have the power to shake our inner core. When we know how disciplined we are, how honest, intentional, extraordinary and meticulous we are - failures, defeats, other people's opinions, judgements and doubts should mean very little because we know where we stand. When we're committed, when we have faith - in who we are and where we are headed - setbacks, especially in professional contexts, mean very little and have no power over our state of being.
Truth is, we live in a world where everybody feels entitled to an opinion. If these opinions are not kind, the effects can be devastating (for the people who think/express the opinions and for the people whom the opinions are about). While we may not be able to control how other people perceive or think of others (including ourselves), we do have complete control over our own state of being.
A rule of thumb. If you are to have an opinion, make sure your opinion builds people up, supports them and helps them grow. Make sure you're kind. No exceptions.
Doubt is, in my opinion, one of the main reasons behind the lack resilience around us. Noticing how doubts tend to seep into our subconscious minds and then into our conscious minds takes great awareness and focus. By knowing ourselves, we gain an understanding of our strengths, weaknesses, limitations etc. Similarly, if we've dug deep enough, we'll also have an idea of what our insecurities and weaknesses are. Doubts are inextricably linked to our fears and insecurities, so by being aware of all the things we are worried or concerned about, we can actively manage them, and as a result limit thoughts which give power to those doubts. As a result we can build on our resilience.
Everything depends on the work we do, within ourselves.
No degrees, qualifications or work experience will help you answer fundamental questions regarding who you are, what drives you, how and why you react in certain ways, and what your potential actually is.
The only thing that can help is your own curiosity. Your own positive restlessness.
What do I mean with positive restlessness? One's innate dedication to constantly improving their state of being, without ever getting complacent or comfortable. You can be at peace within but also curious and willing to understand yourself, manage areas of your life and scale your growth to unimaginable heights.
We are in charge of how we manage ourselves.
We are liable for the impact we have on others.
We are responsible for how satisfying our relationships are.
We are powerful enough to control the effect that most situations have on us.
All we have to do is ask ourselves sincere questions and dig deep by being honest.
Once we do this, resilience becomes a very simple exercise.
1. Commit to developing your resilience by reducing doubt
2. Understand that you are not entitled to an opinion about anyone other than yourself
3. Ask yourself whether you are dedicated to constantly improving your state of being
4. Focus on introspection